Life has been crazy for so long that now that it’s getting better, I have so much time to do things that I have wanted to do. Like read, watch TV, write, and spend time with my husband. After getting so much support from friends, our parish family, and people who I don’t even know who donated to our GoFundMe account, we are feeling some relief financially. We still have to work on the 2012 taxes and deal with the IRS and make money to pay all the bills as they come in again. But for the first time in a long time I feel hopeful. I never despaired, although I was pretty damn close to it, but I just held on to hope. That is totally different that feeling hopeful.
I heard this new Audrey Assad Song and dude, yes. This is how I feel about my life right now.
In other music news, my brotha from another father, Sam Rocha, dropped his new album yesterday on the Feast of St. Augustine. Late to Love is the best soul music that I have ever heard. Not only is it Catholic music that doesn’t suck, but it’s soul music that doesn’t suck. And the fact that he’s Noe Rocha’s son just makes it even better. Noe is like a spiritual dad to me. The man loves Jesus like nobody else that I know. His life, his conversion and his ministry has a lot of good fruit: Jennifer Fulwiler for instance. Sam’s album is probably the best fruit to fall from the tree that is Noe’s mission in life. That is why I kind of love promoting it on a 7QTs. Because Jen, Sam and I all have Noe in common. BUY THIS ALBUM. you will not regret it. Support good Catholic art!
I am working on my book again and it feels so good. I’ve also been going to therapy and spiritual direction and I am realizing so much about how my childhood plays such a huge role in almost everything that I do. I still feel like a liar when I say that I’m writing a book. I still do not know what I’m doing other than reading about writing and going from there, but I know that I have a first draft and I’m working on shredding it and starting over. I also know that a lot of great writers have done just that.
I’m also working on speaking more. I am a total newb at speaking, but the only way that I’m gonna get better is by doing it. I’m working my promo materials. It’s very hard to write about my accomplishments. “Before writing Leticia Adams….” I come up blank. Ummm, “was a bartender that hung out with gang members and hoed around” just doesn’t seem right. I also need a new head-shot. The only professional one that I have of myself is in my Hooters uniform. Don’t think that’s gonna work for Catholic speaking materials.
The other day my husband and I were driving down this road where it’s known that hookers work. We have to go there to get chemical for our company because that is where the distributor is. That’s always confused me, but anyway, we were driving and I saw this house for sale. Now, I am in no place in life to buy another house. We could lose our own house any month now. But the idea of starting my foundation planted itself in my heart again. I have always dreamed of having a house in the heart of the worst neighbor hood where people can come and get help. It’s a long story, but it is something that I’ve always wanted to do. Where there are good books, a closet with clothes, a 12 step program, free counseling, a bathroom if anyone needs to shower and food. A place where the neighborhood kids can come do their homework after school. I tried to shake off this idea because it’s too hard, fall is coming and I fizzle out during the fall, I’m broke, I am a flake and so many other excuses that I could think of, but it won’t go away. I went to my husband who said “I’m down” when I thought he was going to say “you’re crazy, no”. Then I went to my therapist who said “you should do it” when I thought she was going to say “do you really think you could handle that right now?” so I called about the house. Bad news: it sold. Good news: the Realtor cried when I told her my idea and said she wants to help me find a house that will work. So, looks like I’m gonna start my foundation. Please pray for me. It’s gonna be named The Red Door Foundation and the first house will be called The Emmanuel House because Emmanuel means “God among us”. That is what my mission will be, to take God among my people.
School started. I am not the emotional mom when school starts, but this year I am for some reason. There is really no craziness going on. The first of the year paperwork is all done, the kids have all their supplies, clothes and new shoes (again, thanks to awesome people who donated money for us to be able to get all that together) and so I’m only left with the complete knowledge that one day these kids are going to be grown and not my babies anymore. I am usually accepting of that, but this year it just seems like it’s going too fast.