We are Called to Love Each other, Not be Besties

I have not been writing very much lately for so many reasons. One of them being my new radio show which has taken up a lot of my time and energy. And also because life has been rough and I have really been working hard on trying to find my way in this life as a Catholic. I had a lot of my blog posts attacked recently and I began to fear putting myself out there in this space because it seems like there is always someone trying to say something negative about me as if they know anything about my life, my faith or who I am.

It is impossible for anyone to know all there is to know about me just by reading a blog post. I don’t even know everything about myself. Part of my walk with Christ is learning who I am. Who God made me. That takes a lot of shedding of sins and healing of wounds. It also takes a lot of courage because I always fear that I am going to say something that will get me kicked out of the Catholic Church. It took a long time for me to feel at Home here and there are still so many times when I think that maybe I don’t. I don’t belong here because I am a certain kind of person. I belong here because I belong to Christ and this is His Church. Regardless of what kind of music I listen to, TV shows I watch, celebrities I like, how I talk, if I read or not, if I like Christian music or not or anything else, I belong here because Jesus died for me.

I do not need the approval of anyone to be here. Not one person. I am a sinner and have a lot of short comings but I love Jesus. And I was Baptized, Confirmed and Married in the Catholic Church. This is my Home and nobody is going to kick me out of it. I have a right to my struggles, my writing about those struggles, my freedom to listen to Lil Wayne and to have dance parties with other Catholic women or have my nose stuck in a book. I refuse to get put into any kind of box. I am not a nerd or a cool kid. I am a Catholic woman.

I am so in love with who I have become in the last 38 years of my life. All the good times, all the bad times, all the tears, heartbreak and dance parties are all part of this beautiful tragic life of mine. All of it is part of the light that Christ gives me to shine in the darkness that is so common in this world. He gave it to me, nobody else.

I love my kids who are each their own light and bring me such happiness that I had the Grace to bring them each into this world and my grand-daughter who is the sunshine who makes everything else in this world disappear when she smiles at me and gives me a kiss. And my husband. My marriage has been so hard. I have never suffered for another human being the way that I have suffered for this man who I married. Because of that suffering I have come to look at Christ hanging from a Cross is a whole different way. There is no love like the love that someone has for the ones they will suffer for. It is powerful and it is full of Grace that I can’t even explain. I love my husband more than I ever thought that I could love another human being.

I am not a theologian. Nothing said on this blog should ever be taken as having any kind of authority, everyone needs to read the Church’s documents and teachings before every taking the word of anyone on anything. My only intention is to write things that someone else can read and see that someone else is going through the same thing. I am not the only one who struggles with things and maybe my writing can help others see that neither are they.

At the end of the day, I am a sinner who loves Jesus and is scared to death of what He is going to ask of me to be one of His saints. That is my greatest struggle and that is what I work at every single day of my life. God is good. God’s plans are greater than any I could come up with. I do not have to be everyone’s cup of tea and they don’t have to be mine. We are called to love one another, not be besties.


11 thoughts on “We are Called to Love Each other, Not be Besties

  1. The following is not an attack. Please don’t read it as if it is! I think you’re terrific, and I know you’re so sensitive that I would never attack you!

    My daughter Meg put up a wonderful talk up hers on YouTube and Google Plus recently: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVtPYAxfJqA There aren’t many pix, so you can just listen to it as if it were a radio show. I love Meg’s stuff, and I bet I would even if she weren’t my daughter. She’s a lot of fun in person, too.

    You do belong in the Catholic Church because you love Jesus and belong to Him. He loves the way you are. You can minister to people who would tune out EWTN-type stuff. I think it’s really cool every time you tell us something about yourself, because you are SO DIFFERENT from me and still in my Church! I have an image of the way you look and talk, and it makes me smile because you are who you are. Sort of like Popeye—”I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam.”

    Oh, heck, this isn’t coming out right. If you were here and if you were a hugger (are you?), I’d give you a great big hug. Maybe that would explain it.


  2. I have a pretty thick skin but a sensitive ear to bullshit so passive aggressive doesn’t work for me but that doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the emails that I get telling me what a bad example of a Catholic I am. Those are the worst because they are usually written by cowards who would never put their names to something online where others can see them. I try my hardest to not let others bother me since I know that everyone has a story and nobody can hurt my feelings if I don’t let them. But I’m human.

    And no worries, you are always kind.


  3. This is my first post of yours that I’ve come across & read. You are a real person. I love that. “Who am I to judge?” People should not be judging or shaming you…. unless you have posts about wanting to start a petition to declare Kim Kardashian a Saint…. then okay…just kidding. Looking forward to reading more. 🙂


  4. Oh, well, then, that tears it. If you like Kim Kardashian, then you are a terrible Catholic. Because you cannot like a sinner, and she is a sinner. We’re all sinners, so we can’t like anybody. Wait—there’s something wrong with that reasoning . . .


  5. I’m sorry you’ve been attacked. I’ve read the blog post where you detailed your history. How you’ve turned your life around is a great example of your Catholicism. Your honesty is humbling. Meanwhile, the naysayers are probably a bunch of holier-than-thous with closets full of skeletons they’d never have the humility to post for the world to see.


  6. I love the words of a pope who helped St. Francis of Assissi establish his order: “Francis cannot contain the whole church, but the whole church can contain Francis”. It reminds me that there are “all kinds” of Catholics, some I may understand more than others but all are welcome because Jesus died to save us all.


  7. I cannot begin to tell you how much your writing has meant to me. So I just tried to say it, realized I wasn’t saying it right, and deleted it. But this is the gist of it: Think about your writing as throwing a rock in a pond. See all those ripples that go out, and out, and get bigger and bigger? Think of your writing that way. If there is someone standing on the shore saying to you “Your ripples are the wrong shape”, well, they don’t know what ripples are. But I am out there in the pond and your ripples are lifting me up.

    I come from a very different background than you do, so it is not a matter of your writing exactly reflecting my own experience. My besetting sins have long been pride and smugness and complacency and sloth. Not so much DOING the wrong thing, as NOT doing. The true love of God and sincerity of your writing is able to pierce even my shield of pride which has kept me from appreciating so much good.

    I do not, however, yet appreciate ANY rap music.


  8. Oh my. ^^^This is my favorite comment on your blog ever, and I hope maybe it helps to close the chapter on your “defense” genre. 😉 wouldn’t Satan be happy if you spent more time answering your critics, though? You know I love ya more than Too $hort, which says it all.
    Deo Gloria


  9. Well for starters: you can’t really be kicked out of the Catholic Church. You are in, you are family :). Second: don’t listen to the idiots who say terrible things. If they are making judgmental comments ,etc then that’s their problem. Three: there is more than one way to be a Catholic. I struggle with this myself because I mistakenly believed that I had to be a EWTN loving, traddie Catholic in order to be a “real” one. Four: I’m a nerd/geek who loves history, classic and fantasy literature, and any form of music. I admit that I can’t profess to like Lil Wayne but I do have an appreciation for rap: Public Enemy…old school rap, etc. Of course, I also love heavy metal and classic rock. I love fantasy movies/books. If I had more money I would be cosplaying and larping :). I’ve even developed an interest for tabletop role playing games. So, welcome to the club. We are all sinners. We need all the help we can get. I like your blog posts. They help encourage me. I’m childless and I struggle with that but I do have a wonderful husband. I have come to the realization that I just need to live my faith: ie. go to Mass, pray, be a good witness, and above all..love. 🙂


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