So, it’s been awhile since I joined 7 Quick Takes. You know life is crazy when you can’t even write a short post! Crazy isn’t enough to cover my life anymore. There are good days in the middle of the crazy. Like my birthday, which was last Sunday. I got to spend the afternoon with The Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist. I got to see their new prayer garden that has the Stations and the most beautiful Crucifix that I’ve ever seen. Standing there looking up and Jesus on that Cross I had the greatest sense of peace come over me. I needed it to prepare for the week ahead of me.
I have two dogs. Both of them are pit bulls and I pride myself in how calm they both are. I advocate for the breed because so many things are said about pitties that are just stupid. It is not the dogs, but the owners who fail to be responsible owners. I have become one of the owners who failed my dog.
A few weeks ago, one of my kids came home after going to the movies with a friend. She just opened the door and my dog, Bourbon, ran out the door. The friend who was behind my kid tried to stop him from running out the front door and he bit her. He did break the skin and she needed stitches. It could have been worse. I thought it would be an isolated incident since she was a stranger and had tried to hold him from going out the door. Then this past Tuesday my best friend came down to visit for my birthday and Spring Break. What should have started off as a great visit went bad fast when I opened the front door, with my dog on a leash, and my friend’s daughter was standing there. Bourbon jumped up and bit her. Same place as the other girl and everything. My friend’s daughter was in pain the rest of her Spring Break and that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the week.
Let me make this clear, my dog did nothing wrong. I did. For the last year this house has been full of stress, anxiety and chaos. I have been so focused on something else that I failed to notice the signs that my dog needed socializing and was becoming fearful. I didn’t follow through with training and I haven’t been correcting him for bad behavior. Regardless of his breed, I as his owner, failed to be responsible for him.
The first thing I did was call this amazing trainer that I know. She works tirelessly to save dogs from shelters. She works with aggressive dogs and has had countless success stories. She is great at what she does and runs a non-profit to help owners train their dogs. She works closely with the rescue that I adopted Bourbon from and she did not hesitate to offer to help me. I am flat broke. Beyond broke, I’m so broke that I can’t even afford to look at the cost of things anymore. I told her this and she was still willing to help me and my dog. On Thursday, Bourbon and I were off to training class. He did so well and is still pretty shaky around people he doesn’t know, but he let people pet him and seemed happy to be out of the house. Yesterday we went to Petco to do his homework and he was all smiles. We have a long road ahead of us, but it will be good for both of us to get out of the house. I have been isolated in here for far too long. Thank you so much K9 Mastery for everything!
After I took Bourbon yesterday I discovered that one of my kids has lice. AGAIN. This child has been dealing with lice for over a year. I have tried everything (and I mean EVERYTHING except this zapper comb someone told me about) and they go away for a little bit and then come back. It is not for the lack of treating or because this kid shares brushes, hats or goes over to friends’ houses all the time either. So as I was combing her out I was praying for God to make me understand why I have the lice plague. As I talked to this kid and said “you have to check yourself for lice and let me know if you see any. I need your help to make sure they stay gone this time.” and this kid just shrugged as if it was no big deal, it hit me. I am dealing with a child who is too old for me to bathe, who is old enough to help me keep up with this lice plague and yet chooses not to. I can not get rid of them without this person helping me. And that is how God feels about my sins and the consequences of them. He can get rid of them over and over (in confession) but until I decide to help them from coming back, we will be stuck in this cycle. The lice plague sin cycle.
I have been looking at Mary a lot lately trying to figure out how it was that she said “yes” to God when she knew what He was asking of her was impossible. She trusted Him even though she had no idea exactly was He was setting before her, she just said yes. It is so hard for me to trust anyone. Everyone that I have ever loved has let me down, not to mention all the people that I have let down. I just can’t grasp how God will never abandon me. This Lent I have been working on accepting myself as I am, that there is nothing I can do to earn God’s love. He already loves me more than I think He does. It is harder than giving up chocolate. It is even harder when things are falling apart around me and I feel as if I have failed at every thing in my life. All I have to hope in is that Man hanging on a Cross.
****People have been asking if there is anything they can do for me and my family. Yes. You can donate towards Bourbon’s training by going to the A.D.O.P.T website. Or you can send me anything to go towards it through PayPal. The email is firstname.lastname@example.org.