I am not satisfied with being right. I want to know what is true. Truth does not cave to my emotions. And i am an emotional basket case which is why I seek truth because I already know my emotions are whack and lead me down the wrong path frequently. Truth keeps me oriented to where I want to be.
I don’t care about who is right. I want to know what is true. And it makes me very annoying. I know. I have plenty of friends who have known me a long time and let me know how annoying I am. So don’t worry about me somehow not knowing that I annoy the shit out of people. Cuz I am well aware. But it is who I am. I ask why, I don’t run with whatever someone says about people I can’t stand simply because it fits a narrative and I expect more from people who claim to follow Christ than i do from those who don’t.
It is how I roll. And I know plenty of people have me snoozed because of it. That’s fine. Snooze me all you want. I am not going to stop seeking the truth. I test the water to see if you seek truth too and when I see you don’t then I just keep it moving. My goal is to see my son again. Not to make people like me. There’s only one way to get to where I want to be. Jesus. He is the TRUTH, the Way and the Life.
I respect people who can hear what others are saying and discuss disagreements. I leave people who can’t alone. I have had to learn to discuss things because it does not come naturally to me. My natural instinct is to be defensive and prove I am right. Which is another reason why truth is what I tether myself to. If I don’t then I go all the wrong ways.
This is why I am Catholic. Regardless of the flaws of the the humans who make up this Church, I know She is True. I have questioned it and thought about leaving plenty of times but I don’t because every single time I start to walk away, God shows up and proves to me that He is faithful and He is God. And He is True. This is it for me. This is my Church. It isn’t about rightness for me, it is about truth.